Translator: Ing. Luis M. Ortega D.
At this point many parents has accompanied their children on the experience of applying to college and not getting into it. Many children feel confused, depressed and loaded with grief over the suffering of their father and mother, which makes them feel worse.
That is why it is important that parents have worked some things to make this experience not an obstacle for their children but a new challenge.
First, we must accept that we, as parents, feel mobilized for all the things that for us meant to leave school and take our own development as men and women, carrying not only our dreams and fears but also those of our own parents.
The fact that our daughter or son didn’t get into college mobilizes old wounds and fears of not being accepted or being criticized, and that is why we can not always help them in this process.
Many times the success or failure is a way to show off to the family about the great parents we are or not. This is perceived by our children, who live this hard experience on an unmanageable way.
One of the things we should do is clarify what affect on us this failure, how affected we feel in our own complexes and how we pass them on to the kids.
On the other hand, we must maintain the ability to help them to recover from the bad time and reevaluate the possibilities of continuing walking through life evaluating different options of study and reviewing how they are preparing.
We must help them understand that an entrance exam doesn't necessarily measure their ability,because other variables are involved which jeopardize their entrance such as:
- The nerves and anxiety
- The ability to relax
- The level of knowledge
- The number of applicants
Finally, we must help and assist our children to recognize that this is part of the way of life and not the end of an experience. That we love them beyond any failure and we will be there for them to keep building their adult lives.
Source: Confidencias Blog
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